Life is busy and chaotic and it is passing us by way too quick. I often look at newborn pictures of my eldest and am immediately transported back to that moment; and I am amazed at how it almost always feels like only yesterday. I find myself saying; slow down, stop growing up, stop getting so big, but I know it is happening and that it is completely out of my control. There is no stopping time or slowing things down, no amount of wishing or hoping will change this. My babies are growing every day, gaining knowledge and learning from everyday experiences.
I have noticed as he gets bigger the days of cuddles start to get few and far between and I find myself subtly sniffing him when he is close hoping to still be able to smell even just a little of that newborn scent I would always recognise.
I had never planned on my second baby being my last, but sadly this has almost been decided for me, and to think that as he is getting bigger each day is terrifying. As he spends each day exploring and learning firsts, I am going through my lasts, my last baby to feed, the last time I will cradle a baby to sleep and the last little hand that will reach to me for help or security. One day he too will no longer want cuddles and kisses and he will push me away when I get caught sniffing him.
I know that I am their mother and that they will always need me and I should be so pleased they are getting big and strong, but like most Mums I am sure, I am also sad that they can’t stay small forever.
I am often so busy with working full time, taking care of all that comes with raising my boys and keeping my house in good order, that having taken a step back I have realised I am missing huge chunks of them growing up.
I am missing the important things in life because mundane tasks like housework and washing.
Truthfully, I noticed myself saying “In a minute”, “I’m busy” or “Not now” far too often and I realised that it had to change, that my priorities were wrong. Yes, there are tasks that have to be done and cannot be avoided, but everything else can wait.
Time with our babies is precious, they are moments that once gone can never be got back, only in memory, so, put the hoover down and leave the house work, leave the washing, there is always time for that later, no one cares that your house is messy, no one will probably even see it, and if they do, do you honestly care?!
Right now the most important thing is making the most of those advances for beautiful cuddles and snuggles; they don’t last forever, cherish every one like it could be the last, smile a lot, laugh together, say I love you often and keep on sniffing those little ones heads!