10 signs you are a CF parent

1. You find yourself feeding your child cake with their breakfast, lunch and tea as well as trying to find ways to add cheese, cream and butter in other recipes because they are looking a little on the skinny side, thereby making food that is completely off limits on your weight watchers diet.

2. You find yourself openly telling grown adults to put their hands over their mouth when they cough anywhere near you or your child.

3. Your secondary role next to mother is “poo inspector”. Yes, regularly delving into those stinking nappies to inspect poo, followed promptly by taking a picture so that you can compare it on the consultants poo picture chart.

4. You develop a supernatural ability to hear the sound of your child cough above the crowd of 20,000 thousand screaming 13 year old fans at a Justin Bieber concert.

5.  You become an expert in the pronunciation of weird and wonderful medications such as Ursodeoxycholic Acid and Alpha Tocopheryl and in doing so put some healthcare professionals to shame.

6. You find yourself thankful that your CF child is on permanent antibiotics when you catch him drinking water out of the toilet in a plastic toy cup.

7. You find yourself buying recorders, trumpets, whistles and other noisy toys you would normally avoid because they are good for physio resulting in enduring the painful racket your toddler now produces.

8. A trip to the pharmacy to collect your CFers meds resembles a monthly Tesco food shop which requires assistance from the assistant pharmacist, store security guard, till assistant and store cleaner just to get them to the car.

9. In warm weather you find yourself shamelessly licking your child’s forehead in an attempt to see how salty they are aiding in your decision of whether or not to give extra sodium.

10. When it’s time for clinic and you seriously consider putting rocks in his nappy for some extra weight gain but instead you settle for the McDrive thru stuffing him full of Nuggets and chips ready for the scales.